NORWOOD RADIO SCRIPT
The long awaited release is here! Behold in all its glory!
Mr. Host Guy: Nuclear power is safe! Well that’s the News for today! Next we have our daily educational show on OZONE radio ! Today the topic is Norwood football club before 1900.
(random music)
Kodauzhf: Ok thanks. Well as you know today’s topic is… what is today’s topic?! Mr. Backstage guy! What’s the topic?
Mr. Backstage guy: It’s the Norwood football club before 1900.
Kodauzhf: Good. Well our first guest is Sir. Richard Branson. So Richard when did Norwood enter as a football club.
Sir. Richard Branson: They Joined in 1878 and won a premiership in their first year.
Kodauzhf: We have a caller! For the first time ever. Hello who is this.
Gerald Huygens: Why I am Gerald Huygens of course. And I called to say you have insulted me! How dare you call me Norwood!
Kodauzhf: Ok that is good. Now would you shut up! We’re doing a show.
Gerald Huygens: No you evil toilet from north Swaziland! I will ne…
Kids: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Swaziland!
Kodauzhf: Stupid Kids. Now How many premierships did Norwood win in their first seasons before 1900.
Richard: Well in 22 seasons they won 11 premierships.
Kodauzhf: In what seasons did they win?
Richard: In 1878-1883 1887-1889 1891 and 1894.
Kodauzhf: Ok Richard so..
Bill Gates: Hi I’m Bill Gates! MICROSOFT SHALL RULE THE WORLD!
Kids: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Microsoft!
Kodauzhf: well that was random.
Bill Gates: MICROSOFT!
Kodauzhf: So Richard is there anything else interesting on the Norwood football club you have?
Richard: why yes. Albert Green played for Norwood and won the first ever Magery Medal. Unfortunately they didn’t have a permanent home until 1907 after the end of the 19th century. Norwood was in the top teams in Australia at the time.
Kodauzhf: well that’s all we have time for until next week.
Kids: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Week.
Kodauzhf: Shut Up stupid Kids!
Kids: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Kids!
Kodauzhf: Ok goodbye and go to Swaziland.
Richard: Go to Swaziland!
Kids: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Swaziland!
(random music)
Bob Geldof: Hello kiddies! And today I will sing puff the magic dragon.
Kids: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! And!
Bob Geldof: Puff the magic dragon.
Aliens: Doorknobs come to shoe your teapots!
Gerald Huygens: What the?
Aliens: go eat geologists you rabid sesame street!
Gerald Huygens: I love sesame street!
Mr. Backstage Guy: Ok? I need a vacation.
Aliens: we eat rouge firearms in war.
Gerald Huygens: Buh?
Aliens: they no go to yogi bear? Global Snoring.
Bob Geldof: Living by the …….
Bill Gates: MICROSOFT XP COMPUTER!
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!
John Ears: It appears we have some ah? Technical problems. So we now give you our hit call show “Hello is your name bob?”.
Jim Canola: Yes I am your host Jim Canola and our first caller is Gerald Huygens. Gerald? Hello.
Gerald Huygens: No my name is not bob!
Jim Canola: So what should our topic be today? Mr. Huygens?
Gerald Huygens: Why We should Kill George Bush.
CRASH!
FBI Guy: You are under arrest! You’re coming with us!
Gerald Huygens: VOODOO! Take him! Take that guy over there!
FBI Guy: No. Come with us.
Jim Canola: OK?
Gerald Huygens: NOUN! I’m Innocent!
Superman Impersonator: Oh no a damsel in distress! Don’t worry.
FBI Guy: You! You are under arrest for impersonating superman.
Superman Impersonator: No one arrests superman! To the Mobile Phone Mobile!
FBI Guy: Shut up!
BANG!!!
Jim Canola: Would some one hang up on this guy!
Superman Impersonator: ZOUNDS! They have found my weakness.
Hobo: Superman has no weakness!
FBI Guy: Would everyone just come with us!
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Jim Canola: Good now that that’s over. Oyo! We have a caller.
Hello who is this?
Elmo: Elmo is on the phone.
Jim Canola: Elmo what should today’s topic be?
Elmo: Elmo happy. Elmo show kids how to hang up on radio show.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Jim Canola: OK? So… NOT ANOTHER CALLER! WHO IS THIS!
Puff the magic dragon: I’m Puff the magic dragon. Who are you?
Jim Canola: OK? I think I’m insane.
Mr. Backstage Guy: I really need a vacation!
Puff the magic dragon: Tootles. I must go enjoy my fancy gifts that I have just received which includes Ceiling wax! So Tootles!
Jim Canola: Rah! Go to an ad break!
Steve Irwin: I always use a Toyota no matter whether I’m creating a bad Australian stereotype or finding more crocs to dangle my baby at. I’ll always use a Toyota!
Jim Canola: Save me O mighty RA!
Ra: Yes Jim. I shall save you.
Jim Canola: Thank you mighty Ra!
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Mr. Backstage guy: Since all our hosts have been somehow incapacitated.
Mr. Host Guy: Get them away! Ah my eyes! Stupid Koalas! I only wanted to kiss you! Help!
Mr. Backstage Guy: I am your host for the next however long I am so…….
Kodauzhf: I’m back! Welcome to the….
Mr. Host Guy: KOALAS!! HELP!
Buddha: You must find enlightenment.
Ra: No! You all must worship me!
Hobo: Worship me as I am Jesus!
Ra: Yes Jesus.
Buddha: Oh holy Jesus what is our quest?
Hobo: To give me money.
Ra: Yes lord.
Mr. Backstage Guy: Adios Senors! To Spain with me!
Hobo: Give Jesus Money!
Cow: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Talking Lungfish: Hello. I’m a talking lungfish. Who are you.
Hobo: I’m Jesus.
Ra: I’m Ra.
Buddha: Who am I? That’s right I’m Buddha!
Hobo: All shall worship Jesus!
Christian God: No you are not Jesus. Hang on you are!
Ganesha: Jesus Sneezes! Worship me!
Dancing Potato: I’m a dancing potato!
Osiris: Yes Lord!
Guy who says fire: FIRE!
Steve Irwin: G’day mates! I’m Steve Irwin and I’m here to say lets all go throw some shrimp on the Barbie!
Osiris: We shall worship you Steve Irwin!
Ganesha: Yes O mighty Steve Irwin.
Dancing Potato: I would be honored to be eaten by you Steve Irwin.
Al: I be Al foreseer of foreseeing stuff!
Steve Irwin: CRIKEY! You must be rich as a Toyota!
Jackie Chan: MOOOO!
Guy who says fire: FIRE!
Superman Impersonator: MOOOO!
FBI Guy: Get back here!
Superman Impersonator: I’m a chicken!
FBI Guy: Shut Up
BANG!!!!!
Superman Impersonator: Ahh I’ve been shot!
Hobo: Nothing can hurt superman!
FBI Guy: Jesus! O holy lord what must we do?
Hobo: Give Jesus money!
Ok Guy: OK
Superman Impersonator: I’m a chicken!
Ask Jeeves: President! Should we fire on the radio station?
George W. Bush: Yes.
Guy who says fire: FIRE!
Ganesha: I sense a missile! I must leave!
Hobo: Jesus run away!
Buddha: To the magic carpet!
Ra: To the sun!
Kodauzhf: Got to go!
Mr. Host Guy: Koalas! Help! I also must go!
Talking Lungfish: I must leave this place.
Christian God: There is no danger!
Automated Missile voice: Approaching Target.
Christian God: Oh crap!
Puff the magic Dragon: Don’t worry Bob Geldof! I’ll save you!
Bob Geldof: Don’t forget the Kiddies! Or Bill Gates!
Puff the magic dragon: Ok!
Christian God: Oh no!!! CRAP!
Poof.
Osiris: Well that was slightly anti-climactic.
Dracula: Welcome I am your new Radio host! It appears we have a Victim! I mean a Caller!
Old Lady: Where is Kodauzhf? I want Talking Lawn Bowls!
CRASH!!
Old Ladies: WE WANT TALKING LAWN BOWLS!!!!!!!!!
Dracula: More fresh Victims! I will need backup!
Dracula Junior: Greetings father, I have brought the whole family time to party like it’s thirteen-ninety-nine.
Christian God: Vampires do not exist.
Dracula: Oh I forgot.
Christian God: Old Ladies don’t exist either.
To be continued…
Is it written in the stars?
Probably not, because stars do not make very good paper.
I WANT YOUR UNKNOWN STRING
As none of you have no doubt inferred, that comes from the game Hearts of Iron.
ANNOUNCEMENT: Tonight I shall release my fabled Radio Script upon this blog, and all shall tremor at its mightiness.
BABOONS!
Sorry for the absence, my internet has been really slow and unstable.
Have some Baboons, I hope.
Source: Baboons steal underwear from rooftop luggage
BABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNS!
Welcome to July!
Sorry about my absence from blogging, I have been away, and other things have happened.
Also, happy birthday to Big Ben for yesterday, 150 years old.
That’s all for now, stay tuned for more exciting updates later.
Compound interest is boring! 